Stuck in survival mode
Not too long ago, I thought I was handling stress well. Yes, I was tense at times, but nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until my osteopath, addressing some persistent back pain, pointed out that my body seemed stuck in survival mode. That hit home. I realised I was almost constantly on edge, bracing myself for threats that didn’t even exist.
Realising this was a turning point. What I’d accepted as “normal” tension was actually my nervous system’s way of staying hyper-alert. Since then, with therapy and nervous system practices, I’ve retrained my body to settle into a more relaxed, open state. Now, I feel lighter, much more at ease in my own skin, and my chronic pain has mostly faded.
How the nervous system operates
In the world of physiology, the autonomic nervous system – responsible for processes we don’t consciously control, like digestion, hormone release, and temperature regulation – has traditionally been seen as working almost like a switch. When we experience stress or danger, it was thought that the sympathetic branch would dominate, sending us into “fight or flight” mode. And when we relaxed, the parasympathetic branch, known for “rest and digest” functions, would take over. However, research over recent decades has reshaped our understanding, showing a much more complex, hierarchical orchestration, especially when it comes to survival responses and social engagement.
In the 1990s, Dr. Stephen Porges introduced Polyvagal Theory, which brought a new perspective on how the nervous system operates. Polyvagal Theory highlights how we’re wired not only to respond to threats but also to engage socially, which plays a significant role in shaping our survival responses. Understanding how our nervous system adapts to early life experiences – particularly in our first three years – gives us insight into why working with our nervous system can help us regulate our mental and physical health.
How early experiences shape the nervous system
From the moment a baby is born, parts of the autonomic nervous system are already at work. For instance, a baby’s body has the ability to manage basic survival tasks like digestion, excretion, and crying for attention. If a baby’s needs aren’t met, they might go into a form of shutdown – a survival response of the parasympathetic system that essentially freezes the body, conserving energy when there’s no hope of help or safety. In healthy environments, however, this shutdown response is rarely needed because the caregiver meets the infant’s needs, providing food, comfort, and connection.
Crucial to this nurturing connection is what Porges identifies as the ventral vagal pathway, part of the vagus nerve that influences social engagement and heart regulation. This pathway, which governs parts of our face, heart, and voice, develops through secure attachments with caregivers. When a caregiver is attuned to a child’s needs—offering comfort, mirroring facial expressions, speaking gently—the child’s nervous system learns how to calm itself, creating a foundation for resilience. This builds a robust ventral vagal response, making it easier for the child to self-regulate as they grow older.
Conversely, when early attachment is inconsistent, the nervous system may become primed for survival rather than social engagement. This can lead to an overactive fight, flight, or freeze response in later life, making us more susceptible to stress, anxiety, and chronic illness.
The cost of chronic survival mode
Our nervous system is equipped with multiple survival strategies, organized hierarchically. When we encounter a threat, our first response may be to look for help or to socially engage, hoping someone will help us manage the situation. If that fails, we may enter “fight or flight” mode, where adrenaline kicks in, preparing our body to defend itself or escape. If both social engagement and fight/flight are ineffective, we shift into a shutdown mode, a form of freeze response.
In a healthy system, these responses should be temporary. Once the threat has passed, our nervous system returns to a regulated state. However, when early trauma or chronic stress keeps us in survival mode, the system becomes stuck. The nervous system begins to operate in a constant loop of fight, flight, or freeze, which hijacks resources from other essential processes like immune function, digestion, and even cellular repair.
Chronic survival mode leaves little room for the system’s other responsibilities, such as digestion, hormone regulation, and tissue repair. This is why people who have endured long periods of stress or trauma are more susceptible to chronic illnesses, as their bodies are operating in a constant state of low-level threat. Metabolic disorders, autoimmune conditions, and even neurodegenerative diseases have been linked to this dysregulation.
Why working with your nervous system is essential
Working with your nervous system helps reset these survival responses, allowing the body to find balance between threat response and rest, digest, and repair functions. By learning techniques to regulate the nervous system, we can influence this balance directly. Practices that help cultivate safety and social engagement—like mindfulness, breathwork, and body-based practices such as yoga—can gradually retrain the nervous system, enabling it to shift out of survival mode.
In practical terms, this means reducing chronic inflammation, improving digestion, strengthening immune responses, and even slowing down the aging process by allowing cells the resources they need to repair and renew. More importantly, when we’re not consumed by survival mechanisms, our social engagement system activates, allowing us to feel more connected, present, and resilient in our relationships.
Reprogramming your nervous system
Understanding your body’s natural responses is the first step to reprogramming your nervous system. When we bring awareness to how we react under stress, we create an opportunity to interrupt the survival cycle. Techniques like polyvagal-informed breathing (a specific kind of breathing that stimulates the vagus nerve), gentle movement practices, and mindful awareness can help activate the ventral vagal pathway, building resilience in the system. Over time, this work enables you to respond to life’s challenges with a sense of calm and centeredness rather than reactivity.
The autonomic nervous system is more flexible and adaptive than once thought. By supporting it with practices that encourage connection and relaxation, we can reprogram habitual responses that may no longer serve us.
Learn how to regulate your nervous system with me
My online course Nervous System Regulation Course on our Academy offers a unique approach to nervous system regulation. It’s designed to help you learn how to manage your nervous system, which will in turn enable you to handle stress more effectively, and live a calmer, more connected life.
It covers:
- Recognising dysregulation: Understand how stress impacts your body and mind.
- Guided techniques: Step-by-step exercises to regulate different states, from grounding to energizing and balancing.
- Polyvagal Theory insights: Learn the foundational theory and how to identify bodily signals that indicate your nervous system’s state.
- Practical applications: These techniques are adaptable to everyday life, making it easier to find balance amidst challenges.
- Guidance for everyone: Whether you’re new to nervous system work or looking to deepen your knowledge, this course can guide you through the essential practices to feel more focused, resilient, and at ease.
If you’re ready to transform how you handle stress and find lasting calm, this course provides all the tools and insights to build a more resilient, peaceful version of yourself. Learn more…
